PROBLEM
"We have a communication problem..."
My part:
I am allowing this person to cross my boundaries of:
- imposing guilt and shame on me, trying to manipulate me through guilt
- treating me as though I am the cause of their problems
-anothers' anger at themselves for having impossible expectations
-anothers' unwillingness to take responsibility for their actions, blaming me, transferring anger to me
-trust, not doing what they say they'll do, dishonesty
Move It Out, drawing
-energy flow by letting others invade my head, my heart, and letting their negativity drain my energy
-anothers' minimizing my concerns, my needs, what I want
-belief in and enthusiasm for goodness, love and light
This pushes my buttons and makes me rigid and defensive
IT'S A NO WIN SITUATION
I don't have to react to another person's passive aggressive behavior. I deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. I can treat myself with dignity and respect.
OPTIONS
-Meet with the person in charge
explain the situation objectively, discuss options
ask for convenient time to meet with all parties present
-Quit working with the group
-Continue on as is
-Confront the person about their immaturity and ask them to change their behavior
-Write down communication only (do not speak in person)
-Follow the person's directives
do not visually react in any way
do not impose any suggestions
do not offer to take on any more responsibility
wait to be asked or assigned
WHAT I CAN DO FOR ME
Continue being completely honest with myself. Pray for the other person. Do wonderfully positive things for me and Jenna: spend time together, treat ourselves, go on adventures, do projects, be playful. Practice giving myself permission to grow beyond this. Forgive the other person (abandon the debt, abandon the issue.) Give grace, love, and light. GROW
Because this is not the first time around for this issue, dealing with this type of person, maybe this time I can work through my stuff and let it all go. Applying this situation to what we've learned in Composition Theory class about comparative analysis:
WE COME FROM DIFFERENT
Contexts, Cultures, Current Environments
southern / cloistered / victimized
________________ compared to
global / expansive / daring / proactive
Discourse Families
problems / narrow view / helpless / hopeless
____________________ compared to
solutions / options / unlimited view / seeking / asking / questing
Means of Interaction
urgency / pull others into the problem / shame, blame, guilt, fear
______________________ compared to
intuitive serenity / wait for opening for the right moment / accomplishment / reward / attention to positive / focus on hope, doing the loving thing, regenerating positive life flow
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